Reflecting

 I lost one of my closest friends three years ago today.  I shared a bit about him around his birthday in September, but if you haven't yet, please read about this amazing and beautiful man here.

I love you Sokhak.

-Kira

For My Friend on His Birthday

 I was blessed to call one of the most amazing people my dear friend.  He left this world in November of 2008, but he is still with me and so many of us today.  If you didn't know him, I wish you had.  My friend would have blown you away with his love for others.  You would have been impressed by his passion for humanity.  He would have called you a friend the second he met you and he would have meant it.

His name is Sokhak, and he would be 28 today.

If you haven't yet read about my beautiful friend, please do here.

-Kira

Tattoo thoughts...

In September I told you about my amazing friend Sokhak and how hard it was when he was taken from us two years ago today.  If you have not read this please do.  I just want everyone to know how special he was.  I know my words don't do him justice, but hopefully you can get a glimpse of the man he was by reading them.
I have been wanting to do a memorial tattoo for quite some time.  Back in 2004 he gave me a friendship necklace.  I wrapped it around my wrist and wore it as a bracelet.  I never took it off.  One day I lost it and I was practically frantic.  I searched all over, but I couldn't find it.  He made me another one.  I tied it extra tight.  That one eventually fell off too, but I kept the beads from it.  I have kept them in my jewelry box ever since.  I would like to wear my bracelet again, but I know he cannot make me another if I lose it this time.  I want to tattoo it on my wrist just as I used to wear it.  I also want to tattoo the word LOVE in his handwriting above it on the back of my wrist.  Afterall, love was his revolution.

This is us back in 2004 when he still went by Silk, his childhood name.  I'm slightly embarrassed to say we were at a Dashboard Confessional concert, but he wouldn't have been embarrassed by it so I'm telling you.  I'm not sure what he was doing.

If you live in the Portland area and have a tattoo artist recommendation please share.  I only have one tattoo and it's extremely simple.  I want to make sure I have a highly recommended artist do this one.
-Kira

Sokhak...continued

 This is a photo Sokhak took, one of his many talents.

Yesterday I said I would post something Sokhak wrote to me.  It would do him a disservice to correct any grammar issues so I'm pasting it here as he sent it to me.  The unfinished quality of it makes me smile.  I know he really meant all of the things he said.  I also know that I didn't deserve it.  This is something he wrote about our friendship...

Mixing a soul through spoken words. I give she takes, she gives I take. It's in one of its own. I see beauty in her eyes because I know she tells no lies. A mix of black and white: This is the mix that makes a gray and this is where we both stay. Of love and pain this is a story of both different people, of two lives that take shape in their own; to make a friendship I like to always keep. Like cherry blossom on spring's doorstep this has found a time to bloom. My friendship with her is like a note I like to sing with the most beautiful way my vocals can produce, but I would not want to sell anyone short for I think my heart knows better beauty. The sound it makes echoes from heart to heart. The sun falls and the darkness becomes my home. I find comfort in seeking for her friendly chat. A soft voice that speaks in more volume them she will ever know. Take's my grief away and gives me a light note of change. I believe because her words fly with a grace of an angel, and I stand with two feet on the ground and I feel like I have found my heaven. She gives me thoughts of her lord, I give her my thoughts of piece of mind, in the middle we meet, and we find solace in each others words. I heard a story of a man, who gave his life to the world, and he took nothing but pain, I heard it and it softly flows through my conscious. I heard it echo a song like a faint sonnet, but the song was of soft passion, helped me to lean in the wind and realize that the god in which I was pushing far away could maybe someday find its way to my heart. I know in this, my eyes open much brighter with this girl who paints me with a vision of white.  There is a truth to us in where I see. A history that has been made, short days has it been since my words fell upon her eyes, but it has been a lifetime of searching, till I found a friend such as this, so I hold this friendship high and let it never touch the earth for I surface to many times and I never tend to loose what I keep now. I give her my thoughts and melt them into words and wish she knew, but in the end she always has known and so this prose ends with this. Yes this truly exists...

 I miss him. 

If you knew him too I would love to hear stories you have about your time spent with him.  I have so many great memories and I'm sure you do to.  Please comment or send me an e-mail: kiralynnpdx@gmail.com

-Kira

Sokhak

I have sat here for a while trying to figure out what to write.  How do I share about someone embedded so deeply in my heart that there are just no words to do him justice?  I want to tell you about my friend Sokhak.

I met Silk my sophomore year of college.  I was always embarrassed to tell people I met him online.  He was never embarrassed by that.  I was living in a new place, was extremely shy, and felt terribly alone.  Having him come into my life was the most tangible and obvious instance of God's work in my life and His answers to prayer.  I had prayed for a friend like him, and one day his words appeared on my screen.  His words have never left my heart.

Sokhak was an artist, a writer, and a lover of people.  When I met him he was trying to figure life out in a world that had done him wrong many times.  Sometimes he would get frustrated because of circumstances in his life, but it never lasted long.  There were so many things that brought him joy.  He believed in humanity and loved every stranger he came into contact with.  Something about his being just drew people to him.  Every day he would have strangers just walk up and start telling him their story.  Somehow they knew he would want to hear it.

 The way he loved people was the closest manifestation of Christ's love for us I have ever seen.  I learned a lot from him in that regard.  I talked to him about my beliefs and he shared his with me.  We differed in so many ways, but we shared a number of core things.  We loved people.  He was much better at showing it, though.  We both had strong beliefs and thoughts on how we wanted to live our lives.  We loved music and books.  Using clothing as a way of expressing ourselves was important to us both.  He would always say that one day we would start a clothing line together.  As silly as it sounds, we both loved the show "The OC" and would talk on the phone for hours about how Anna was so much better than Summer.

Sokhak made helping people his life's work.  His family is from Cambodia and it was very important to him to spend time there and help people out in any way he could.  He worked for a long time at an organization that found sponsors to help children in poverty all over the world.  He loved talking to people on the street and often brought or purchased food for homeless people as they sat down together and exchanged stories.

(this photo was taken from his MySpace page)

He knew the work he was doing was important.  There was not a modest bone in his body.  He knew his work was good and that he looked good doing it.  The boy had confidence.  He taught me some of that, too.

He used to write stories to me weekly.  When he wasn't writing a story specifically for me he was e-mailing me short stories he had written or pages from his journal.  He was a complete open book.  I'm glad I saved so many of his words.  My two favorite things about his writing are that he was intensely descriptive and terrible at spelling.  He could paint a picture for you with words and he could care less if they were spelled right.  He just needed to get them out there.

So many little things about him became paramount in my mind because I saw them and heard them so often.  He hated it when people put "ok" instead of "okay."  He often said or wrote "the end" as a way of finalizing a thought.  He would type "byee" at the end of each message.  He said the extra "e" meant "I love you."  And, there are about 1,000 songs that make me think of him for various reasons.

He wrote Jeremy a message when we got engaged expressing to him how happy he was that I had found someone to love and take care of me.  I will never forget how truly excited he was for me to get married.  My happiness meant so much to him.  I'm so blessed to have had him there with us on our wedding day.

The day he died was just like any other ordinary day for me.  With the connection we had I felt I should have sensed something was wrong, but I never did.  Two people called me at exactly the same time around 11pm the night of November 16, 2008.  I was in bed.  The first who got through was my mom.  She asked me Sokhak's last name.  I told her.  She explained what was on the news.  I laid there in shock.  I got out of bed, turned on the tv, and heard it for myself.  I called the friend back whose call I had missed.  She saw it on the news, too.  I had no idea what to do.

Life had not prepared me for a situation like that.  The thought of never seeing him again was absolute torture, but what kept running through my mind was all of the work he had left to do.  Who was going to be loving the people who needed it the most if he was not around?  Who would be there for the children, the homeless people, and others like me who needed him to be there for us?  It seemed so wrong and unnatural that someone so important to humanity should be gone at such a young age.

I remember someone at his memorial expressing it best by saying that he had already lived a full life.  He had packed a lifetime worth of works and experiences in his short time.  He had taught so many of us how to love.  He had led the revolution.  We should live that way and love people like he did.  I'm still learning, but I had the best teacher.

He would be 27 tomorrow.  Happy Birthday to my dear friend.
Tomorrow I will post some of his words for you.

The end.
-Kira